by Smrithi Senthilnathan
Howdy, everyone! I hope your submissions for issue v: jabberwocky are going well. A bunch of you asked us for inspiration of what constitutes a 'wacky' piece so this post is for you guys! Read this piece, then start curating your own submissions. Reminder that there are only 10 days left to submit <3 Note: This piece was written by me in 2021 and has been left alone since then so please pardon my grammar and word choice (and do not judge me too badly, I promise my writing has improved since then). Also note that this piece isn't based on a 'wacky quote' in particular, however your issue v: jabberwocky submissions should be attributed to a quote. Happy reading! P.S. Read till the end for an analysis of this piece and more examples you can check out!!
Laughing My Apples Off
I stagger under the weight of my sight returning. After not being able to see for months, the outside world is too bright. The sun shines directly into my eyes.
It feels surreal and frightening to see after two years. I’m not completely sure I’m not hallucinating, but if I am, I try to drink in the illusion of sight as fast as I can, before I lose it.
Once my eyes have adjusted to the brightness, I stop squinting and fully open my eyes for the first time in two years. It’s funny; even though I haven’t seen in so long, the act of seeing comes naturally. I almost forget how it was like to not see.
Almost.
I remove my hands from my face and inspect my surroundings. Every surface is decked with bright colors, splashed all over. The paint is clumsy but it would’ve been done by blind people.
A couple of meters away people are milling around, going about their jobs as always. New York is as busy as ever.
It takes a beat but I soon realize what is odd: Everybody else’s eyes are still closed.
A spot of green on the building next to me catches my eye. I walk closer to examine it.
My breath catches in my throat. What I thought was just a random assortment of paint, is actually a group of words painted over and over again: Don’t tell them you can see. A shudder passes through my body.
I whirl and look at the other buildings. Those words are everywhere. Every single wall, every single building has them.
A chill creeps up my spine. Something’s going to happen. I can feel it.
Two seconds later, a hovercraft descends from the heavens. I gaze at the people around. Nobody seems to hear the whirring of the engines. I wonder if there is some kinda Great Deafening going on. Am I the odd one out?
The hovercraft lands about three feet away. The front part opens up. For the second time, I’m blinded by dazzling light. I throw up my hands to cover my eyes until they adjust.
A single figure emerges out of the hovercraft. It isn’t a person but it’s unlike I’ve seen before. The ‘creature’ resembles a head on a huge bouncy ball. And to complete the image, its clothes are splattered with colors, black polka-dots interrupting the vibrancy.
I want to call it an ‘alien’, but from all the sci-fi YouTube channels I binged before the blinding, aliens have green or blue skin, their heads are big and their bodies are thin. This ‘creature’ is a living bouncy ball, with a tiny head and yellow skin.
“Greetings human,” a chirpy voice says from underneath layers of hair on the bouncy ball. I glance around but nobody seems to notice the hovercraft and the creature. I swear I see one person walk right through the hovercraft.
“Uh… hi?” I respond.
Another bouncy ball, with white polka-dots and orange skin steps up from behind the first one. “Are you the creator of this… siteweb called Tumblr?” Like the first one, it’s voice is high-pitched and sounds like an excited five-year-old’s.
“Y-yes?” I’m the definition of a nerd but creating Tumblr is the greatest thing I’ve done. I only did the base work and the Tumblers elevated the platform to another level. But still. I’m amazing.
“You have our gratitude. We are from the planet Caprica. We are the reason the Great Blinding occurred on your planet.”
A ball of fury rises in me. Who were they? How dare they blind every person on my planet? I’m one of those typical depressed Gen Z people, but I’m still possessive of my planet.
Wait. Earth is the only planet with life. I learned that in science five years ago.
I let out a laugh, but it comes out shaky. These ‘creatures’ were probably just kids, having some fun. “Yeah I totally believe you. Great job on the hovercraft.”
The ‘creature’ walks to me, and then extends its hand. At first I think it’s for a handshake, but then I see a sizzling ball of flame. I stare as the ball hovers in midair, suspended by nothing.
At this point I’m not sure what to believe.
“Believe us, human. As you know, we have granted your sight back. We saw this platform you created… what is it called? Tumble something? Yes we saw this Tumble and were greatly impressed. Across the world, people respond to posts on Tumble with ‘LMAO’. After much research, we deduced that LMAO means ‘laughing my apples off’. We Capricans too would like to… discover the secret of laughing our apples off. As Tumble’s creator, you are the only human who can teach us. We are going to take you to our planet. You are welcome.”
I’m dreaming. Or hallucinating. Weird creatures are abducting me to learn how to laugh their apples off? “Ass, not apples” I manage to say through hysterical giggles.
“Oh. Thank you human. Now, we are taking you to our planet to learn how to laugh our ass off, whatever that means,” the first creature says.
“This is a great honor. Treat Capricans with the utmost respect,” the second one says.
And because this is definitely a dream, I nod and step into the hovercraft along with the ‘creatures’. Little do I know that I will never step foot on Earth ever again.
ANALYSIS
What the piece did well:
It creates a suspenseful atmosphere where you're excited to read about what's going to happen next.
The setup for the joke of 'laughing my apples off' is done well because it introduces aliens who don't know human speak and culture and the punchline is delivered well.
It's kinda wacky and makes you go 'whaaaaat?'.
What the piece lacked:
Random isn't funny. You can't randomly be the creator of Tumblr or randomly have aliens occur. Worldbuilding could've been made a lot better to make it actually funny and interesting.
The writing is bland (but I attribute that to my 15-year-old self who couldn't do descriptions for the life of her lmao).
Overall:
This fits the definition for wacky but we want you to make your pieces actually funny and resonate with us, instead of just throwing a bunch of random elements together and hoping they form a coherent piece. We want to reiterate that this kind of work is not what we're interested in, but rather the wacky part of this piece is to give you an example of our general theme. We look forward to your pieces!
Examples of our theme we definitely recommend you read:
The Tiger King by Kalki (Short story)
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